My Dad

Just general thoughts on my Dad:

 

I remember when I was a kid, pretty young, and seeing my Dad without a shirt on.  He had chest hair.  And a lot of it.  I have always associated chest hair with being an adult (well, an adult man at least).  My chest stayed bald until I was probably sixteen or even older.  I got a few little hairs, in the center, but it just wasn't the same.  I always thought I should have more.  Now I do...and the hair just wants to take over my entire body, but that's a blog for a different type of entry.

 

Robert Heinlien writes science fiction.   He wrote a lot of classics in the field, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, well I could go on and on with the classics he wrote.  The point is that in most of his stories the main character was the Competent Man.  The Man that could do just about anything that was needed to be done.  In his stories the main character could take an engine apart, cook a meal, rescue the world, whatever needed to be done.   In my life that man was my Dad.  He seemed to be able to do anything.  He could work on a car, he could fix the plumping, he could cook,  he could build just about anything out of wood, it just seemed that if something needed doing he could do it.  

 

I know now that there was a lot of insecurity in my Dad.  He never finished high school and  I don't think he considered himself a success in many ways the world assigns success.  He never thought he was that intelligent.  When he retired from the Navy he wouldn't look for jobs I thought he should have, he thought they were beyond his grasp.  But he was the biggest success I know.  He created a family, he made a partnership with my Mom, he did so many things right.

 

I got my love of reading from my Dad.  He reads almost as much as I do.  (I say almost cause I think no one reads as much as me.) 

 

Before I had ever heard of feminism I had an example of it at home.  He and my Mom had a partnership.  They both worked long and hard hours.  Whichever one got home first made the meal.   He washed the dishes.  He helped clean the house.  (I'm not saying that they had a perfect partnership and didn't argue.  My parents could fight, oh boy, could they fight.  But that's not the point of this post.)

 

As kids my brother and I never wanted for anything.  Yeah, we may not have got the designer clothes, the hip sneakers (actually I think that was before sneakers were hip), the hottest toys every year, but we always were dressed good, we always had presents at Christmas, we always went on vacation every summer...to DisneyWorld, to Six Flags, to the beach, to somewhere.

 

One of the biggest achievments my Dad accomplished I never realized till I was grown and moved out.  My Dad came from an abusive family.  Not just a little abusive, his Dad would beat him.   The day my Dad joined the Navy his father had beat him and broken a rib.  That was what made my Dad finally leave and join the Navy at the age of 17.   And my Dad did not pass it on.   Sons of abusive parents are inclined to be abusive themselves.   My Dad never beat us.  Yes, we got whippings.  Yes, we got yelled at.  But we were never abused.  We were never given broken bones or bruised skin.   And growing up we never knew our Grand Dad was like that.  We would visit his parents in New Jersey now and than, but we didnt' see that side of our Grand Dad.  As we got older we could tell Dad didnt' always get along with his Father, but we never knew why. 

 

I've always thought of my Dad as a big man.  When I picture him in my mind he stands over me.  But he isn't.  He's short, something my brother and I like to kid him about.  But in my mind he is a giant.

 

The only time I see him as his normal size is when he is with his grand kids, my brother's kids.   They both love him and think he is the greatest thing in the world.  When I see him with them I picture him as a little old man walking along with them, happy and content in the world.

 

The last few years have been some of the best for my Mom and Dad.  They are both retired, living out in the country, doing whatever they want with their lives now.  It's something I'm glad has come about, it's something they both deserve.