My Mom called earlier. She had to take my Dad in the emergency room this morning. He's been sick all week. He's been throwing up. He can't sleep and she said he has chills so bad he's shaking.
I feel so....I'm not even sure of the right word, but I just know it's not good. Helpless would be a good one. Living six to seven hours away makes it tough. I want to be able to go to the hospital to see him. She said he'll probably be in the hospital a few days. He is doing better now that he is at the hospital. They're not sure if it's a reaction to his chemo or something else. The doctor seems to think it's something from his surgery last year.
I talked to him last Sunday and he seemed to be doing really good. He sounded better than he has in awhile. He said he felt pretty good. He mentioned that he gets these chills now and then. And his lips swelled up, but that was due to the chemo. But he sounded really good.
The good thing about them being up in Tennessee is that this is where all my Mom's relatives live. One of my aunts and uncles lives just down the street from them. They called my Mom tonight to "yell" at her for not letting them know what was going on, they could have went with her to the hospital. My uncle told her he was awake and saw them leaving but didn't think anything of it. So there are lots of people around them that help, drive my Mom back and forth if she needs it, whatever they need.
But I feel like that should be me doing that. But I can't run up there everytime he goes in the hospital. I have a feeling that would be running up there an awful lot before we're through. Still it doesn't lessen these feelings I'm having right now. I'm glad they are there, there's a lot of people for them to lean on, but I wish they were closer so I could see them.
3 comments:
John, I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.
When my paternal grandfather was first diagnosed with lung cancer about 25 years ago, my father traveled home every weekend to visit. But we were only 90 minutes away from my grandparents' home, which made things easier from a logistical standpoint.
You obviously care a great deal about your father, and it is natural to want to be there for him at a time like this. Just remember that there is a limit to what you can do. The most important thing is that your father has access to help when he needs it.
And do not minimize the importance of his having a son like you, who loves and honors him. Intangibles like that go further than you may realize.
I'm so sorry and can understand how hard this must be for you. Please know, for what it's worth, that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry to hear this, John. Distance can be both a curse and a blessing, that is for sure. It sounds like your mom is keeping you well informed, and I am very happy to hear that. I am also glad to hear that there is family near.
Take care of yourself, okay? My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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